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Stupid things people say to musicians

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Stupid things people say to musicians

Would you be available as a fill-in for our cover band? We can’t pay you, but there is free beer.

Why this sucks: Entertaining people is a difficult job, and it requires money to pay for all the jams, travel and hard work. We have bills to pay too, just like you.

What Musicians say: Sorry, we are busy that day.

What the Musician meant: Alright, but how about you stop by our place to clean the dishes, take the dog out for a walk, sweep the floor and when you are done, there will be beer for you inside the fridge.

When you get famous, can you get me free VIP Passes?

Why this sucks: Come on, you are already talking with someone beyond your terms. Asking for a VIP pass is an insult to the person’s profession.

What Musicians say: Haha! Let me see! OR I will let you know soon!

What the Musician meant: Why don’t I forget all about my family and my friends, and just give a random stranger a VIP Pass.

Your price is way above our budget. Can we please have a discount?

Why this sucks: On contrary belief, money quoted does not include drugs or any explicit items. It is just our daily expenses to make your show a success.

What Musicians say: I am sorry, that is our last price.

What the Musician meant: If you think five people can travel for an hour to play a gig with Rs 50,000 worth instruments, sound check for two hours and play for another 2-3 hours, and travel with the same equipment at night time, then sorry, this is our budget!

Can you perform at a prestigious event for free? We have guests that will promise you a real music career.

Why this sucks: Well, this is a higher class of the first point. It is already an insult to the musician by asking him to play for free. But, adding insult to injury is promising him to meet millionaires at the event. Come on! They are already established. Or else, you would not have even asked them about it.

What Musicians say: I will have to talk to my manager about this.

What the Musician meant: If you expect me to play for free, you are 20 years late. And if you think some mysterious benefactor will help boost my career forward then forget about it!

I understand you are a musician, but what is your actual job?

Why this sucks:  Now imagine you have a job, but people keep pestering you about your ‘real’ job. How irritating would that be?

What Musicians say: I practice/record during the day, and I perform at night. That is what I do.

What the Musician meant: I freaking practice/record during the day, and I freaking perform at night. That is what I freaking do.

I am sorry, but I haven’t heard of your band. Are you guys famous?

Why this sucks: Some people don’t even know who Metallica is! Come on, their train did not stop.

What Musicians say: We are working on new material now. So, we are keeping in the shadows for now.

What the Musician meant: Just because you have not heard of us does not make any difference. Attend one of our shows, you will come to know why we love doing what we do!